The Past- Years Ago
Life’s about making everyone happy right? I try but fail miserably. And do they let it slide like I do when they mess up? No way. They make a point to let me know just how bad I junked it up. I only hear the negative not the positive. The thing is I never try to hurt anyone it just comes off that way sometimes. It’s as if when it doesn’t turn out the way they want it to then I have purposely let them down.
I bury this anger, resentment and bitterness. A hard shell builds around my heart causing numbness. I wonder what would happen if I did let it out. I have on occasion and an explosion erupted. Explosions are not good for a relationship so I continue to bury my feelings.
Fast forward to about 4 years ago.
It finally sank in that my God loved me. Oh I knew He gave His Son to die in my place but I struggled to live a Christian life because I was missing something. The missing piece was the love. I didn’t have it for the Father and I wasn’t clear on His unconditional love for me.
Upon really getting a grasp on this truth, my worth and value began to take shape in my soul. I was created by Him for a specific purpose and I was perfect in His eyes. I was still imperfect to the people around me but my attitude changed from “I need you to accept and love me” to “I’m me and you can love and accept me or not.” The chains that held me bondage most of my life were broken and I saw myself as one who had the choice to say “no” if I wanted. I had the freedom to say “no” without reason.. Wow! What difference the love of God can make.
When I began to be filled by Him instead of trying to be filled by the people around me I walked taller, more confident, spoke without wavering, and no longer straddled the fence. I knew what I wanted and that was to be led by God and not what people thought of me. And I went for it.
Living abundantly is not about wealth and riches, although that may be part of the blessing, but it’s about being me, the real me, the me I was created to be. It’s about living free in Christ.
What’s a girl worth? Well God thinks she’s worth the death of His Son, and that makes her the most valuable creature in the world. God thinks she’s worth giving His every day grace to and that makes her more precious than rubies. God thinks she’s worth His undying, uncomprehendable love and companionship. He thinks she’s worth having a real, up close and personal relationship with. I believe that makes her worth everything. And that’s enough for me.
Do you know how much you’re worth? Tell me about it.