The past week has been a tough one for me. I’m going to be honest, I’ve just plain struggled – with everything. Struggled with stress, with work, with being nice to my friends, with respecting and loving my soon to be husband, with being pleasant with my kids, with desiring to teach my women’s group, with praying, with keeping my focus right – just EVERYTHING! I’m embarrassed to tell you that but there ya have it – it was a bad week last week! It happens to all of us – and often so I figured I’d talk about why that happened.
It’s simple: our focus and perspective gets off base.
That’s it, the end. End of blog. That easy.
Seriously, though, it is that simple. Here is what I experienced this week – I was so testy with people in general. Why can’t anyone do anything right? And I was stressed out with wedding crap – what needs to be done and ordered and planned and on and on and on and on ad nauseam. What I should be saying is “oh look how wonderful and God’s got this. It will be perfect.” La la la, chirping birds and butterflies and stuff. BUT, things just don’t always look like that now do they? I digress…. So stressed with wedding stuff, work has been a bear lately – so much to do for year end. Also, no one is as smart as me. Ever. Or so I thought last week when my patience fuse was the length of a toothpick. BOOM. My friends – well they were just irritating in general. Stop asking me questions already – I kinda don’t have time to talk what with all my other pity parties going on. OH, and then there is my incompetent, selfish, zero help husband to be. I mean really? Do I have to do EVERYTHING by myself and is our life together going to be this fabulously irritating all the time or what? And my kids – forget about it – I mean can y’all just go to time out until about 2017? Thanks.
WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME?! Because I kid you not, people, that was my attitude. Oh, and I was mean. But here was the problem – guess who wasn’t having their quieeetttttt time lately? Guess who wasn’t prayyyyying lately? Guess who was even feeling an urge to stop and be still and listen to the voice of her Creator and she didn’t have timmmmmeeee for all that? THIS GAL! Well, I mean, dang. And it was like a smack between the eyes about Thursday of last week as I sat crying thinking my world was crumbling around me because I was SUCH A VICTIM – and God said to me for about the 800 millionth time that week “talk to me.” And so I did. And guess what? I had a sweet, sweet time with Him and really got my focus back where it should be which is just Jesus. All the time. Just Jesus. He didn’t love me any less because I was focusing on life MY WAY rather than what He was calling me to do. He didn’t love me any less because I was mean and arrogant and prideful and spiteful. He didn’t love me any less because of my rotten attitude. Instead, He reminded me that He created me for more than to experience life that way. He created me to live life and live it abundantly and my husband to be, and my kids, and my work, and my family and my friends were all a GIFT and for that I was and am and forever will be grateful! So I left that conversation with apologies to family and friends and I went into lifegroup Sunday WANTING to teach and to talk and be real and to share His love. Because He is my focus.
Praise Him that He is so patient and loving to me. Praise Him that He blesses me despite my shortcomings and what I perceive to be failures. Praise Him for declaring me holy, blameless and loved. Jesus, I take refuge in YOU alone.
“How precious is your steadfast love, O God! The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings.” Psalm 36:7