2 Minute Devo:Me and Depression

The day I threw one of my husband’s prized golf clubs across the living room I knew there was a real problem. Common sense told me that was a bad idea. However my hand reached over, pulled it out of the golf bag and threw it! Not at him per say but in his direction. I don’t even remember why I did it now. What I do know is he and I both knew something wasn’t right. The next day I made an appointment with my gynecologist. I sat in the chair opposite him and described what was going on. “My family thinks I hate them and I’m not so sure they don’t hate me.” The tears flowed as I listened to the doctor describe PMS syndrome that could cause depression. “Sounds just like me.”  I said.

That was the beginning of my journey through depression. It was a pit I could not climb out of by myself. The doctor gave me Prozac which helped for a while but eventually my body grew immune to it and I had to switch. I’ve tried so many antidepressants I can’t remember them all. Some helped while others didn’t.

Why am I even telling you this? Because many women struggle with depression and probably don’t know it. Maybe they do know it but aren’t sure what to do about it. I want to give some hope here. I am on a mild antidepressant now and it keeps me stabilized to the point that I can enjoy life. But there is another Source, the main Source for my recovery and that’s Jesus. I understand that depression is not a state He wishes me to live in. He came to give life and give it more abundantly. John 10:10. And I’m taking His gift that keeps on giving… every day.

Bad days still come. I do have times of depression but they are much shorter than they were at the beginning. When I realize what’s happening I pray “Father lift me up out of this pit. Give me Your joy and peace and live through me today. You are the lifter of my head and I’m asking you to lift me up now cause I cannot do it myself.” It’s not the same prayer every time but similar. I’m so thankful that I can be honest with Him about how I feel. He is so faithful to me. Praising my God today.



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