Is it Cold Feet or God Saying No?

My friend Darlene Minshew has written posts for us before but this is one of her best and most personal. Her testimony about her first marriage teaches us a lesson I believe we all need to think about. Let’s welcome Darlene with open arms and thank her for being willing to share so openly.


My entire life I had heard about the wedding day case of nerves referred to as cold feet. I assumed that this was a normal experience for the bride on her big day. So when I had a case of cold feet on my wedding day, I chose to ignore the warning. On the way to the wedding my sister DeAnna looked at me and asked, “Are you sure about this?” and stated “ You don’t have to go, I’ll take you home.”  DeAnna had been my closest friend for many years and until that day she had never said
anything like this. God  was using her to give me a way out, giving me a chance to follow His path for my life. And I choose to ignore His final warning. A decision that could have cost me my life.


I had decided to rebel against God’s plan for my life and marry a non-believer.  Warning signs sprung up everywhere. I ignored God for almost five years, and ended up in an abusive marriage. The bible clearly warns us about marrying unequally yoked. (Read 1Corinthians chapter 7 for more information on the subject of marriage.)


If you feel nervous, unsure, or down right scared take it to God. He is not a God of fear, He will never leave you nor forsake you, no matter how hard you try to leave him. Do not settle because you feel lonely, do not give in to your desires just because everyone else is. The bible tells us in 1 Peter 2:11b “Abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul.” Once you cross the line sexually you can’t go back, you can start over, you can be forgiven, but you can’t take back what belonged to your future husband. If you stick with Gods plan, He will not fail you or miss lead you, and He can not lie to you. He only wants the best for you. He truly and completely loves and values you. His desire is for you to be made complete in Him.


My marriage ended in heart break, followed by sleepless nights and  fear for my personal well being. The good news is that God gave me a second chance once I gave my life back to Him. Sadly some women do not get a second chance. God had tried to spare me, and I choose not to obey His will for my life. I now have memories God never intended me to have, and bad dreams that as of yet have not been taken

If God is warning you, please do not ignore Him, take those cold feet and run straight into His waiting arms. He will show you His desires for your life. The bible tells us in Psalms 103:2-4  “Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits: Who forgiveth all thine Iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases; Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies.” Please allow God to redeem your life. It is never to late.


God turned my life around and reunited me to the man He chosen for my life. We have been married now for fourteen years and have been blessed with one child. On our wedding day I could not wait to get married. The excitement in me was almost more than I could stand.  A wedding day is meant to be a great
celebration the bible tells us that, “… a man shall leave his father and mother,
and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”Genesis 2:24  There is truly no relationship that can compare to one ordained by God. Never settle. God wants the best for His children.


“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6  God will make your path clear if you turn your life over to Him.





  1. Love this idea. People rarely understand that shopping at big mega-mart chains does little to boost the local economy. Keep it local when you can.

  2. This is so, so true and so impactful coming from one who speaks from experience. I have a similar story and can relate so well. Thank you for sharing this, Darlene. I am praying your story is heard and heeded by many. I can see God is using it to help others!

  3. From the heart Darlene……Love Ya girl!

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