Expectations by Tammy Durrence

Today is Thankful Tuesday here at Grace full Women. Join me in welcoming my friend and ministry partner Tammy. Her testimony is powerful and gives witness to God’s faithfulness to His child. I’m thankful to have my sweet friend here and I hope and pray you will be blessed by her testimony.


When I was a girl, I watched the movie Cinderella.  It only took 1 time.  I was sold.  That would be my life.  I would find Prince Charming.  We would get married.  I would go from rags to riches.  I would wake up after I said, “I do” and I would live “happily ever after.”  I would be the perfect mother, have the perfect children, be the perfect wife, and have the perfect husband. Expectations…..we live in a world of them.  Expectations we put on others that they can’t meet.  Expectations that we put on ourselves that we can’t meet.  Our “world” is built around expectations.  Do this.  Do that.  You must succeed!  You must not fail!
Well, I can tell you that when I woke up after our little honeymoon, I did not wake up in my new castle.  No…I woke up in “Prince Charming’s” mother’s house.  We had to stay there for about 3 weeks until the apartment, not my Castle was ready.  The only time my Prince was Charming was
when he had fallen so far out of my graces, that he decided he’d better charm his way into a better position.
We now have 3 beautiful children.  But I am not the perfect mother.  Two of my three children have disabilities.  One has a form of autism and another has Type 1 diabetes.  There are days that walk around completely frazzled in my world of unmet expectations.
The world has not lived up to my expectations and I certainly have not met the world’s expectations.  I have fallen again and again.  I have messed up and I’m going to mess up again.  We all know that these unmet expectations can lead to anger, disappointment, and regret.  These expectations are put on us by the world and the world’s standards.  God’s word tells us in Romans 12:2, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world.”

  You see, we have all sinned and we all fall short.  We have all messed up.  If we put our faith and our hope in the expectations that we have for others or for ourselves, we will be let down every time. But we keep pushing, keep trying to measure up.  We keep messing up.  Paul puts it like this in Romans chp. 7.  What I want to do, I don’t do & what I hate, I do.

How do we break this cycle?
We sit at the table with Jesus.  I like to use this analogy because of my time with my grandparents.  From the time I was a little girl, every time we would go to see Nanny & Papa, Nanny would have to feed us.  Nanny would prepare something and we would all sit at the table and fellowship.  By the time we would leave the table, we would be full as ticks.  We would’ve laughed, talked about our troubles, about solutions, and we would’ve talked about our dreams.
This has been what our family has been built around.

Now my grandmother has Alzheimer’s, but when I go over to her house, Nanny always says, “I don’t feel like cooking, but what do you want to eat?  I’ll send Papa to the store and we’ll sit down at the table.”
I want you to know that is all the Lord wants from you.  He has no expectations.  He knows you’ve messed up, that you’re going to mess up.  All, He’s asking is that you sit down at the table with Him. That is where our healing begins.  That is where we find the solution to our problems.  When we are so weak from our battles, we find our strength at the table with Jesus.

1Cor. 18:9 says, “I will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be
blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.
  God who has called you
into fellowship with his son Jesus Christ our Lord is faithful.”

It is when we sit down at the table with Jesus that the second part of Romans 12:2 takes place.  That is where the renewing of our mind takes place.  That is where we are able to test and approve what God’s will is for our lives.  He has called you to the table.  Come fellowship with Him.  Let Him fill you with His word, His peace, and His Love.

 For more encouragement come on over to my other place Pics Prayers and Pom Poms. Join us and celebrate everything, see some pics, and more life and God stuff.


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