What Do Women Want?


Me and my friends in the mountains.


How would I know? Well I’m a woman. I have lots of friends who talk. I’m a blogger who communicates with other women bloggers. I’ve ministered to women in and out of Christian circles for about 17 years. Communicating with women and trying to give them what they want and need is what I do.


So what have I found out?


Women want other women to be real and transparent.


We want to know we are not alone in this messed up world. We want someone to tell us we’re not crazy and even if we are, tell us its okay. We are desperate for someone to love and accept us in our fragile, harried, not so cute, sometimes angry, misunderstood state of mind. And yes, even Christian women have their days when they need another woman to just listen and say, “I
understand, I’ve been there, and I’ll help however I can.”


The word transparent is described by Webster as “free from pretense or deceit, sheer enough to be
seen through, readily understood, and characterized by visibility and accessibility.” This probably brings a bit of fear to some of you, to be open and share your real life with others. But isn’t this what you want from other women? And deep down, sometimes, don’t you really just want to be honest about what’s going on in your life?


Jesus came to give us freedom from sin and death. He came to
give life, not only in heaven, but abundant life here. Abundant, real life
cannot be found behind bars in the Prison of Pretense. Pretending to be someone or something we are not only leads to captivity. Once we’ve started the story, we have to work to keep it up. Have
you ever tried to keep an imperfect family looking perfect all the time? Virtually impossible!


Part of my own story with this began when I started teaching women’s Bible studies. I had been teaching about 4 years and my class was growing, but I was dying from exhaustion. My thinking went like this, “A Sunday School teacher cannot let her students know she has problems because she has to set an example. They need to look up to her. If she struggles with sin she can’t admit it because she’s supposed to be above that.” It was very hard to continue the charade of the perfect life while I tried to be the savior to all the women in my class. This caused me to “burnout” because I just couldn’t do it all and there was no one telling me any different. I gave up all ministries
for 2 years and slowly and prayerfully stepped back in as the Lord led.


But I am telling you different now. Be transparent with other women. I’m not saying you have to
share every deep, dark secret you have, but when the Spirit of God leads you to give testimony as to what you’ve been through or are going through, just do it. Do it for you, do it for them but mostly do it for Him.


Now days as I minister to women from all walks of life in church and the community I am transparent with them. If I’m going to relate to and share Christ with these precious ones they need to know there’s a real woman inside me, with real life issues, letting a real Jesus love her. Then perhaps they will let me share how much my Jesus loves them. And maybe they’ll believe me. Hey isn’t that what it’s all about anyway?

Scripture references: Galatians 5:1, Galatians 6:2, John
10:10, Luke 12:12, John 15:26-27




  1. Julie….I loved your post. Yes…that is what women want…friends that are open & honest. Your secrets are the things that will kill you. As I have gotten older…I do not spend time with people I don’t feel relaxed around…..if I can’t trust a person then I will let that relationship go….I did not do that when I was younger and it caused me alot of grief.

    I feel so blessed to have friends….I just couldn’t have made it without them in my life.

    Thank you for all the great things you write about…you are the best!

    Love, Linda

    • Thanks so much Linda. I have done the same thing with life as I got wiser. I made the same mistake as you beofre I learned better, got burned. God puts other women of grace in our lives so we can share our hopes, dreams and burdens with each other. When its a place of grace we are free to be ourselves with other without the fear of being judged. Miss you Linda

  2. Darlene says:


    Last year you and Jennifer taught a bible study that ended with prayer for us to have the kind of friendship and witness your describing. At the time I was a little ticked. I have been burned so many times. I didn’t want to expose myself to anyone again. Thankfully that prayer was answered on Gods time schedule and not mine. Without Godly friends to relate to some of us would sit in a hole of self pity and doubt. I would say God used your experience to help me through mine. And one day God will have me do the same.


  1. […] stop by other blog Gracefullwomen and read my newest post What Do Women Want. Don’t you want to […]

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